Ramblings of a Disorientated Mind

I had a very long talk with andy last night/ this morning. Generaly about how I’m never going to get anywhere job wise if I don’t chnage who I am, which I flatly refuse to do. I cried an awful lot. We whent around in circles a lot, but the convo finaly lead to this: National Novel Writing Month. I’ve signed up, and I’m going to give it a go.
He reckons this is a good way for me to break my habit of being to scred to try somthing. It’s funny. I want to do all these things, to be free, but there is this part of me, the uber responsible me, that won’t let me, and I can’t seem to fight her.
Our little convo lead, as well, to me churning out a bunch of things I can do [or use to do] and complaning that no emplyer is going care if I know 7 types of stich or can dig a latrine [shit] pit. His response is ‘They will if you word it right’. I have a spin doctor. Umm, yay?

Meh, I don’t honestly know why I just wrote all that. It’s gotta be interesting to someone I guess.

☮&♥

Friday I had an interview for a job scanning documents for a company employed by Barcleys Bank. I think it went okay. They said they would probably be in contact by Monday. Fingers crossed.
Also on Friday, we took Andy to go and get his loan check from the Uni. I don’t really blame him for not wanting to go get it, cuz they way we walked last time was down a place called Alder Hills. They aren’t kidding about the ‘Hills’ part. Its a horrible place to walk… Before we picked him up, me and mum went to TESCO and I got a new outfit! Its so nice. It consists of a pale blue fitted shirt which some frudy embroidery type stuff, and a pair of grey trousers, that look a bit like clown trousers: they aren’t tapered or fitted in any way, and they have a check pattern to match the blue of the shirt.

Saturday was a bit lame. I went back to Andy’s on Friday and we had a bit of a disagreement, but we kissed and made up eventually [I love that part of the disagreement ], but I didn’t really do anything except website stuff.

And today, I helped Dad clean out the garage. We’ve thrown away an awful lot of stuff, re-arranged some other stuff, and generally cleaned it out so we now have a clean semi- specious garage again [well, it was until we filled it back up with 3 push bikes and 3 motorbikes...]

And now I’m pleasantly tipsy. Red wine does wonders for a chilly person like me

☮&♥

I have Azurus. Yay me. Now I can watch all of NCIS . It’s very slow though

I met an old school mate in Poole today. She was the same year as me, so she’s only 21 and she has a house, a car, is married and has a toddler with another on the way. Kid is very sweet though. She offered to get a coffee with me, but I declined. I didn’t really want to tell her I had zilch money and was allergic to caffeine [not that it's really been stopping me]. She never mentioned she had a job though, so I suspect her husband doesn’t attend collage and fritter away his loan check. She seemed happy though, and I guess that’s good

I have money. I just paid in 56£ worth of dividend money into my ISA so I can’t get it. I really should stop putting the £ symbol at the end of an amount. Though it is very Continental of me.

I keep having dreams in which at some time I’m going to the loo. I really, really wish I knew what it meant, cuz it happened so many times now that I’m sure it’s me trying to tell me something. I had a dream this morning that involved my three greatest fears, and almost woke up crying. It was very very scary. And no I’m not going to tell my stalkers my three greatest fears cuz I’m all paranoid like that and watch far to many conspiracy/ espionage films for my own good.

I wonder how I can tell if my blood sugar or red blood cell count is down? I’ve been getting dizzy spells just recently, and I don’t know why. It’s mildly concerning, but not enough so to ask a doctor.

I’m very tired right now, And my computer is slow. How annoying.

I should probably get round to putting out those Allium bulbs and the garlic soon, since it is time for them to go in. I also need to sort my will out. Anyone wants anything specific of mine, speak now and I’ll write you in. Not that I’ve got a lot anyway…

Yay, no more squeaky door. I just oiled it.

Mary, Andy’s mum is in the funny farm again. I hope she’s okay, cuz last time they put her in with some real psychos. It was very scary visiting her.

Bleh. Now I’m just rambling. The cake I made for Andy’s birthday was very good, FYI. I was very impressed with myself.

Okay. I’m going to shut up now.

Maybe the dizziness is toxic poising from me abusing my liver and gut with thing I can’t digest.

Sorry.
Shutting up…

…Now. *scampers off*

☮&♥