Wow, a whole week without posting. Well, it might have something to do with the fact that I’ve been at Andy’s for most of it. Lessee, what have I been up to?
Learning php [I actually made some crappy little thing with it *feels clever*]
Watching odd movies and SG1 and SG1: Atlantis
Reading
Finalising new layout on my brand new apache virtual server [which I installed on my own; I'm so clever]
Getting not-quite-so thrashed at chess by Andy [I'm actually really enjoying chess now]
E-mailing jobs.
Not hearing from Alex about the job in Margate [Are you avoiding me?]
Submitting my latest assment for the ICS writing thing
Learning about Brit Jazz.

Well, I really should go and make my new site layout live and start on the next module of the ICS thing.
Love to all X

☮&♥

Oh Gods.

Oh Gods.

So, y’all know I got made redundant, well I called up my best mate, kitten, for a chat and stuff just now and she tells me to call her other half, Lex. So I do and he tells me he just handed in his months notice to Thanet District Council, where he helps maintain the website and some other stuff. This means there will be a place available, and did I want to go for it?

Ohfuckohgodsohfuckohfuckholyfuckinggods

Go get a stiff drink and think about it, he says, and call me if you decide you want it, and I will do everything I can to help you, and you can stay with me until you get things sorted if you get it.

Gods

I haven’t stopped shaking since he told me, despite said stiff drink.

Andy/ Darkliquid says: If you think you can do it, then go for it, I love you and I’m really proud of you, and I’ll always be here if you need me.

My brain has stopped working. What should I do? This is so… big and scary and ohmyfuckinggods what am I going to do?

Probably have another drink actually.

But, this is HUGE! Do I, little ol’ me, have the guts to just pick up and move 182 miles to a whole new area, to be around a whole cache of new people, with my past history on living on my own?

I mean, sure I’ll have Lexy, and I know he’ll give me all the support he can, but this is me, and this is something I’d ultimately have to do off my own back, and I don’t know if I can do it. I want to, I really would, but, I’m so scared, and this is just so big… And oh Gods….

But, parents? I don’t think they’ll like the idea, and they’ll probably try to put me off, and it will probably work, but I don’t really want it to work, and gods.

Maybe I should go have that other drink now.

Gods…

☮&♥