Work: Okay, but not really. It was going really well, but then a customer complained abou the some of the things we’d made and we both got in trouble [ish] but I know it’s Jade’s fault because she is actually incompitent. She has no common sense at all. I just don’t know whether I should say anything though.
Exercise: I’ve managed to do at least one set of streches and at least 20 reps with the 5lb dumbells per day. Still walking to and from work, though each route is effectivly the same, and I’m still going up hill, so I take the prettiest. Managing to cut down fatty things, but not quite managed to cut down on allergens [considering I think I may be becoming senitised to soy]
Writing/ ICS course: Haven’t really had much time for writing lately, but for my last ICS assignment I got A-, which I think is pretty good. My tutor also said I have instinctive talent 
Website development: Has ground to a complete stop.
Freinds: Luke is annoying as ever. Kat I spoke to a yesterday but was really to tired to concentrate. Alex, I haven’t spoken to at all. Charlie I sent a card to for her birthday with a letter, but I’ve not heard anything back from her. Everyone else seems fine.
Things I really should do: Like pay people back large sums of money and get christmas pressents, haven’t happened at all.
Dress for CosPlay at MCM Expo: Hasn’t been started, but I’ve booked two days off next week so I can go with mum to the big fabric shop in the midddle of nowhere and we can start cutting matterial and doing a first fitting. I promise I shall take copious photos.
GMing: I feel it’s going very poorly, but everyone seems to think I’m doing okay considering I’ve no previous experience running a campaing, or even GMing, and that I don’t have a complet set of rules at my disposal.
General: I seem to be very tired lately, and have decided to take a break from moding spacefem. They should make oral plasters; I have a huge lump missing from the inside of my lip [possibly I absently bit it out] and it really hurts.
I supose you’ll notice one glaring ommision from this list. If you don’t, well, it’s Andy. The reason why is this:
He stayed over after DnD tues. Wed night we had a nice time, we talked about his new job, how much he’d get paid, joint accounts, getting a house with dan, getting a new server. We kissed and we cuddled even though I didn’t feel well, had a passable night, and I went off for work. During the day, when I felt bad or tired, I’d remember I had andy to look forward to and I’d feel so much better. I possitivly ran home, beacuse I was going to be so happy to see him.
I got home and mum tells me he’s not there, he’s left a note saying he’s gone home. I think she’s having a joke and search for him, getting more upset the more I can’t find him. By the time I’ve switched my computer on I’m sobbing [quietly] hysterically. Our IM convo goes sort of like this:
Me: Why did you go home [many crying emoticons]?
Him: I can’t work on your computer and I had stuff to do.
Me: But you could have waited for me to get home, I was really looking forward to seeing you. [more crying emoticons]
Him: Whatever.
[More crying on my part]
Me: You could at least say sorry for hurting me [even mnore crying emoticons]
Him: I have nothing to appologise for.
Me: You don’t feel bad for hurting me?
Him: kay, I’m sorry [whatever]
So right now, I’m really really upset by him and angry and hurt, and fuckiong crying again, so I don’t want to talk about him or to him and I hate him, and I don’t think what we have is love. I think what we have is him not actually giving a fuck about me, and me being too stupid and ‘in love’ to see it. See, what Kat and Alex have is love. You can see it all the time, that they care passionatly about each other. Love should not hurt this much.
I think I should end it now before I have to go through messy divorce stuff, but by tomorrow I may feel completly different….
So, yeah. That was my great big update.
☮&♥
