For crying out loud people, we’re all grown adults. We should be over this juvenile, immature playground he said, she said bullshit by now! Seriously, I feel like everyone in my current friends group has regressed back to high school age. I know Kat said it’s okay, and it’s normal and shit because some part of our brain isn’t fully developed and all that jazz, but really. I still feel like we should be over it by now.
Okay, so it’s really early and I’m not thinking straight probably, but I really want to get this all out of my head and I really don’t care over much who reads it and who gets offended or whatever. There is so much crap flying at the moment that something needs to give and it need to all be out in the open.
I guess ‘The Summer of Discontent’ started back around May/ June when Kat cheated on Alex with her house mate at the time Sebastian. At the time Kat was still at Uni in Exeter, and Alex was working and living in London. They had, what seemed like, a fairly stable long distance relationship for about a year and 9 months, when the strain just got too much I guess. Kat started developing feelings for her house mate, and as things often do, one thing lead to another. But Kat told me it wasn’t just that she’d developed feelings for another person that made her break up with Alex, it was also that he seemed to motherly to her too, like he was smothering her. As there always is, there were other reasons, however I don’t recall them. So Kat breaks up with Alex, starts being with Seb. Alex goes through a really horrible patch, getting very drunk, hurting himself, working too hard, accusing Seb of things that were no way true. But I suppose it’s understandable when you remember Alex was gonna ask Kat to marry him.
So, a couple of weeks later Alex comes down to see me and mine for the weekend, to get away from London, and, well, everything. Enter new couple: Jade and Greg.
Jade and Greg have their own fiascos, most of which centre around miscommunication, unwillingness to compromise, not spending time together and confidence issues on the rightness of their relationship. They were engaged too, for about two years. Enter Major. Major was there for Jade when Greg wasn’t. He listened when Greg didn’t. He spent time with her when Greg was too busy. You see where this is going? Jade developed feelings for Major, feelings he would have happily reciprocate if only she weren’t with Greg. But eventually she chose Greg. Poor Major though still had those feelings for her. Alcohol is a wonderful lubricant, no? It waxed that way for him to say exactly what he felt, but of course Jade rejected him, and it seems to me it broke him, but that in it’s self is a whole other post.
So, Alex comes down to see me and mine, and falls instantly, it seems, for jade [who's still with Greg at this point - try to keep up], just as I’m starting to fall slightly for him. Trouble is, she falls for him too, harder than me, for sure. Poor boy has to leave the Monday morning, around 5ish, but not before Jade and I make plans to come up and see him the next Monday and stay till Thursday.
The intervening week Jade and Greg break up. Jade wants a break to see how it goes with Alex. Greg is having none of it and breaks it off completely. So I’m supposed to be going up with Jade to chaperone [since they're both on the rebound] and keep her company during the day when Alex is at work. Well, I screwed that one up didn’t I?
Next day I find out he asked her out while I was comatose from drink on the sofa, and she said yes. That was kinda lots of painful. Not as bad as them sat on the stairs Monday, 1am, weekend later, so I couldn’t say goodbye to the man I’d kinda fallen for despite saying I hadn’t, despite that fact I had my own boy and who I’d been there for and nursed through a particularly nasty break up with my best girl friend.
Anyway.
It’s just about time to introduce couple number three, but if memory serves, there’s some more fun with Greg in the mean time. Except memory isn’t serving that well, save to say Greg realised what a complete numb-nut he’d been in loosing Jade and tried all sorts of crap to get her back, most of which hurt and confused her and just made Alex really angry. One specific thing I do recall was Greg’s little attempt to reveal certain facts about Jade’s past concerning an ‘addiction’ of hers. He had the apparent gall to suggest that Alex was going to feed said addiction. Something to do with the fact his parents are both Pharmaceutical Chemists. Yeah, memory’s really fuzzy at this juncture so we’ll more right along to couple number Three: Duane and Mayra. And also it’s probably time to introduce Monkey. And if you never hear from me again, it will be because someone has killed me because of this bit.
So Ma [Mayra's nick - means 'evil' in Portuguese] has been in the country, after moving from Brazil, for about 5 years as I hear tell, and she’s been with Duane for 3 of those. She has bouts of depression, lets her feelings out in poem form. Duane is addicted to role playing of the Dungeons and Dragons geek-style variety and plays for several hours just about every night. Once again, their problems seem to stem from miscommunication and not spending time with each other. Enter the Monkey. He’s sweet, caring, listens like you wouldn’t believe. He’s what they call a ‘nice guy’. Hell, I had a mini-crush on him when we moved in and all was chaos and Andy kept working really late. It’s easy to see why she’s fallen for him, is the point I’m making. Don’t get me wrong, Duane’s not a bad guy. I like him very much, I think he’d be a good mate if I knew him better. But, Monkey and Ma weren’t very subtle about it. They really really weren’t. I have the slight benefit of hindsight here, but even so, most people twigged at least four weeks ago, the denser of us about a week ago. But we all lied to her about the knowing. Maybe she knows that now, I don’t know again, but I feel bad that we lied to her that barely no one knew, even though pretty much everyone did. The worst of it is that no one seems willing to tell Duane. Maybe he’s twigged to, but is in denial. I don’t know, I haven’t seen him for ages. But Monkey and Ma… They’ve been seeing each other behind Duane’s back for at least a week, at time of writing. There: I said what had to be said and should’ve been said much longer ago. You can shoot me now.
So in between all of this, also back mid July I guess, we have couple number Four: Ryan and Jenny. To be honest, I never really liked her – she was slightly too girly girl, and as I remember her from Church [shut up them as is snickering] she wasn’t a very nice person. Just not really our sort of person I guess. Ryan – ah now, there’s a sweety. Insane as y’like but the boy got a special place in my heart no matter what. Well, about mid-July they broke up too. She couldn’t afford the rent on their place even with a full time job, and so Ryan told me, they just stopped any kinda love they had and figured they were too different to make anything work. At the time he didn’t seem all that broke up about it, but then… I haven’t seen him in over two weeks and even before then not as such to really sit down and talk with. Poor boy. As far as I can tell he’s working extra hours to pay for his roof.
And now to bring us a little more current, the latest little contretemps that Greg and Jade had, that rather unfortunately indirectly involved me and Andy, and our relationship. This Saturday just gone, Jade and Greg and some others went to Rubyz. They got wasted. Greg kissed Jade, who wasn’t very happy about such and Greg of course feels very stupid so decided to bring up the fact I still kinda like Alex and implied heavily that Alex and I were having some sort of affair. His justification of this was based on the fact that ‘according to Andy’ I spend way to much time with Alex, and I fawn over Alex and Alex does nothing to ‘fend [me] off’. Apparently this makes Andy very jealous and very upset. This is bullshit twisted from Andy complaining that I bitch about spending time with him and then go off with other people or do other things, where ‘Andy complaining’ has been twisted into ‘Andy being jealous and upset’, ‘other stuff’ into ‘Sex’, and ‘with other people’ I suppose into ‘with Alex’.
Also, I shan’t deny that I still like Alex and wouldn’t mind him as more than a freind, but this whole this about me being with him too much is bull too. Now Jade’s in the picture, Alex and I are no where near as close [as in physical and mental] as we were during his and Kat’s break-up. And to, I won’t deny it still pisses me off that I feel like I kinda got tossed aside. But I don’t resent anyone for that – it’s my own bloody stupid fault for getting so attached, even if I wasn’t aware.
I’d like to add one more small thing about Jade and Greg. You both say you’ve moved on from each other, and don’t like each other any more. Then would you kindly act like it? Jade – stop using Greg’s money, stop using him as your own personal chauffeur. Greg – stop being her slave, stop doing everything she asks, do not immediately leap up when she asks for something. Most of all, both of you, for gods’s sake, stop acting couple-y.
This is the first time in this whole three month-ish fiasco that I’ve actually been really pissed off and then exhausted by something that’s been said and/ or done. The only good things that came from this latest thing was a re-affirmation of Andy and I’s relationship, and a rather nice e-mail from Alex thanking us for putting up with everything.
Sometimes I feel that Andy and I are the only adults in this group and that we’re parenting a whole bunch of hormonal teens…
I think I’ve said all that needs to be/ can be said at this point, though technically summer isn’t over until the first of September. That means there’s a week and a day for things to get worse….
☮&♥
Isnt ranting wonderful?
Im so sorry for any crap Ive pulled in the recent months, but if theres one things Ive learnt in life its that soon this will all be a hazy memory with the details slipping away. If everyone survives until then I think we’re set for a small golden age of happiness until the next wave of lifes problems.
Roll on the good times, and keep on trucking. Youre a good friend and I realy hope you realise that.
Ok.. so I get that you’re pissed that everyone comes to you for advise and that recently everyones lives seem to have turned into some dodgy soap opera but thats life.
I really don’t like the fact that my personal life has been paraded across the internet especially when things aren’t sorted out yet please let us sort these things out ourselves and just be the good friend you are that helps and supports us when we need it.
Yes we are all adults but adults aren’t perfect and make fuckups and we still partly rely on our friends and family to guide and support us even people in their 50s may turn to a friend or family member for guidance in any situation.
Relationships can be one of the most complicated of things to sort out and we somethimes need the help and support that friends and family provide throught these difficult periods of time and they should only interfere when asked.
As for my relationships I am quite capable of sorting things out myself but these kind of reckless post could ruin any plans.
If you have a problem with us please please let us know and don’t go posting personal issues without our knowledge.
Sorry if any of this offends
hmm ok