… That I need to start developing an encyclopaedic knowledge of Broadstone. Today was the third time someone asked me for directions to somewhere. Admittedly the first was driving past and I didn’t have time to think, and the second was some Indian guy who didn’t speak English, but even so, I feel I aught to know more about it than I do.
I’ve lived very close to Broadstone pretty much all my life, it being the largest out of four ‘villages’ in the area. I say ‘villages’ because though at one time they were separate and distinct areas, they’ve all grown together to become one ward. Every Sunday until I was about 16, and my beliefs changed, I went to the Methodist church up there.
So I know about Candy Chocs, the sweet shop, and I know about Robert’s Discount centre and Long’s Fish n Chip shop, and Tapper Funeral Parlour and a whole bunch of other shops that haven’t really changed or moved since I was little. I know how to find the library and I know where the Doctor’s is and I know where the public toilets are. I know pretty much were to find key members of the church and people my Mum knows. I know where both the schools are, and the community centres and the sport centre. I know where the rec [recreation ground] is, all three entrances to it and how to get there from the church. I know where the post office is, and the hairdresser’s and the health food shop, and the CoE Church is. I even kinda know where the Roman road/ ex train line is. I can even point you to the cemetery and the crematorium, and confirm that there really is a water tower at the top of Water Tower Road, one of those funky Victorian types.
I know that the bloke who came up with evolution first was from Broadstone, even if I can’t remember his name right now. I know the sort of flora and fauna you’re likely to find if you head out of Broadstone. I even know where to find the big stone that the village is named after. I can find my way to, and through, Delph Woods from three different points.
So what don’t I know? I don’t know where the golf course is. I don’t know the names of any of the roads, and I can’t direct you to anywhere for shit. I can’t remember the name of that sodding bloke who came up with the theory of evolution. I can’t really remember anything else about Broadstone, even though there is a tapestry in the Church that I use to study, for 14 years, when the sermons got boring. I don’t even know exactly where Broadstone ends and Waterloo Estate, Hillborne or Waterloo Village begin [It's pretty obvious where Canford Heath begins, 'cause it's a whole lot o'nothin'].
And even though I seem to know all this about Broadstone, I still feel like I’m woefully lacking in knowledge about the place, and unable to serve those few who come to me when I’m in my ‘crossing patrol’ guise and ask for directions. Except the Indian bloke. Nothing could’ve helped him…
☮&♥
Nya!
