Grahh! Buses are so annoying. It’s like ten o’clock and I’m pretty much only just got home. I’ve been in long enough to boot this up and make a cup of tea. I shouldn’t get home this late. If the buses all arrived/ left when they said they would I should be back here by half nine at the latest [I finish 0850, bus turns up at 0900, take 15 mins to get to poole, I get #15 at 0920, or if I'm lucky the m2 @0915, ten mins to get home. I'm back at 0930]. Well, that little rant out the way, and I feel better. Well, in as much that I’m not longer miffed by the buses. But I’m not okay in that I don’t really have anything planned to do today. I have some washing-up to do, and I’m expecting a call form the IFA, but other than that I really don’t have anything planned. It kinda sucks because I feel at a loose end. I know that means I should have more time for writing but I don’t have any Work In Progresses to attack. I mean, I have a bunch of stories that still need finishing, but they feel so stale to me now, after having worked on them for what seems like forever. I’m half tempted to not write anything more on ‘the ultimate story of my friends’ cuz unless I get a better idea I think I might use that as my NaNoWriMo this year. No, I really need to start a new project, fresh. I need to actually work one through from the beginning to the end this time. and now I have time to do it, I have no ideas, no inspiration. Well, okay that’s sort of not true, because I have a list of some random sentences that sounded good and a couple of names I’ve seen that sound cool, but how can fit it all together. I know all I really need to do is sit down and start writing, and the ideas will come, but I’ve spent too long doing that and having the inspiration dry up half way though. That’s my problem – I can’t end things. Either I just dry up and give up or I waffle on for ages.
Huh, it’s funny, I really want to stop writing this morning page and check my e-mail. Maybe it’s because I’m being honest with myself and so I’m trying to avoid myself writing this by running away. I never thought I’d want to run away from a page before. Gods I feel silly now. The feeling has passed, but that also could be because I’ve stopped talking about something that apparently was making me uncomfortable.
I really missed not playing DnD this week. While it was nice to just hang with Ry and and stuff, the lack of actually doing something after I’d done ‘cooking’ was intolerable. I bet it would have made me feel better too. I think I’m going to actually cook that pork that;s been sitting in the fridge since Friday tonight for dinner and finally use up the curry sauce I have. Then tomorrow I’ll make the cottage pie. Bah, my careful food planing is all out of whack because I got sick, then andy got sick. I guess that means I can do either spaghetti bolognis tomorrow or the beef korma. Or maybe we won’t go out this Friday and we can have one of those on Friday. I’d like to go out thou, maybe I can convince andy to go ice skating in the park with me. That might be fun. Heh, how odd, even though I’m writing down one – the more lateral – stream of conciousness, I seem to have another working in the background keeping track of what I’m saying and adding a differing slant. See, just as I was talking about going out, I was thinking but that will mean we’re spending money and then I though, oh I still haven’t paid andy the rent and that I should probably try and remember to do it today. I should also try to remember to put a note about it in the calendar so I remember for next time too. See I’m begging to believe that GTD bloke when he says that the best way to free yourself of worry to get down to do something is to have a place that can keep track of things like that for you. If I write down every regular occurrence that I have to remember it makes it easier to not let myself worry about it and to do stuff like this. Wow. I’ve filled my page up really easily today. I must be getting into the grove of doing this. ah well, adue for now 
☮&♥
