“Oh for crying out loud!” Drawled a familiar pair of pink fluffy wings in front of him. “You really are most pathetic.” The wings where swiftly followed by the rest of Bob, the pink fluffy dragon. “If you really love her so much, then stop sitting there bleating and go after her.”
“Baa.” said Jeremiah.
“I’m afraid I can’t.” said the pink fluffy dragon, picking at his claws. “Surly you haven’t forgotten the rules? She won’t let me go away until I convince you to stop sitting there and further the plot.” Bob, who is pink and fluffy, stopped picking at his claws and looked at Jeremiah. He sighed. “Look, all you have to do is get up of your woolly arse and go after the ship.”
“Baa.” said Jeremiah mournfully. Pink and fluffy bob put a hand to his head, and turned to address the fourth wall.
“Look, this isn’t going to work.” He said, pink and fluffily. “He’s obviously not going to stop being a pathetic baby for a long while. Why don’t we leave him at it, and you an I can going and explore this bit of the novel for a while, okay?” in a most pink and fluffy way, Bob nodded. “Okay the.” he said, and started off in a random direction. No not that one, the other one. “Sorry.” bob the fluffy and pink dragon said over his shoulder, and set off in the right random direction.
Bob, the pink fluffy dragon wandered around looking at the aspects of the surrealist genre. There where teapots that pushed hostess trolleys with miniature people who spat scalding hot drinks. There was a man taking a shower under a sunflower, it’s leaves acting as a privacy screen. He even managed to find the plaid hippo-potenuse, who was handing tickets out for a rainbow ride. And then, because he was feeling silly and was eager for the author to finish this ridiculous novel, he found a meadow that conveniently had a soft gauzy light, with lots of very pretty wild flowers and flounced through it for a while yelping in pain every so often as the wild flowers bit at his heals [well, they were wild flowers]. Ah good, he thought to himself when he had finished flouncing and had gotten hold of some cream for the bites, That’s used up about one hundred and fifty two words then.
Meanwhile, back with the sheep. I really, really have messed this up though Jeremiah the sheep. I’ve driven Tayna away. I hurt her so much. What am I going to? Even if I did chase after her, she’d still be so angry she wouldn’t let me come with in ten feet of her. There’s no point any more. All that stuff she said about the flow of the story… I’ve completely ruined it for her. She’s never going to want to see me again. Just as I was starting to get something from her, she was starting to really trust me, to really trust where all this was going. I should have told her about the Happy Ever After. I should have… But it’s all too late now. All too late… He lay down and uninvited tears pricked his eyes. He made a sheep-like sob. Far away in her office, the author sighed and realised she had acted very rashly. Unnoticed by Jeremiah, his snout receded into a nose and mouth, his legs and his arms grew longer. He shed wool to leave pale pink skin. His ears shortened, and his ‘other’ bits took on a more human aspect. Tears still dribbled down his face, but his sobs came out more human than sheep bleat-sobs. Unconsciously realising his resumed status as a human, he curled into a little pink and naked ball, and cried with a vengeance. Presently he felt a hand on his back, and a voice whispered into his heart.
-Hush, Jeremiah, hush. It’s all going to be okay. You’ll still have Happy Ever After. I promise.- He felt the gentle, ghostly, touch of lips on his cheek. Startled, he sat up and looked around, only to find there was no one there. It was then he noticed he was naked.
“Yaah!” He yelped and tried to cover himself up, despite the fact that there was no one around. A little way away from him, hung up on a convenient tree, was a pirate outfit. He frowned, confused and a little appalled, but then suddenly her words came back to him: let it flow over you, through you. Just accept. He smiled, shrugged to himself and wiped his face before going and putting the costume on.
When he had finished, he turned to find a full length mirror stood behind him. He looked himself over starting from the top down.
He wore a strangely tight cream shirt laced from his belly-button and a blue frock coat with gold trim, with a huge belt holding up a pair of blue-black leather trousers, also strangely tight. On his feet, flat soled bucket boots. With the outfit came a flint lock pistol, which he thrust through the belt, and heart shaped pendant on a thong of leather inscribed with the words ‘Deus ex machina’. He grinned.
“‘God in the machine’ indeed.” He muttered to himself before tying it around his neck. All decked out, and his confidence buoyed by the outfit, he started in the direction that the ship had gone, resolving to find her. He took one step forward, before a twinge of uncertainness twanged in his heart made him stop. What if she had really meant it about never wanting to see him again? Should he really go chasing after her, only to make her hate him even more? He sat on a convenient rock. But if he didn’t, how could she see that he really loved her and wanted her back? What was it the dragon had said? Oh yeah: if you really love her, stop bleating and go after her! He looked up. Love you Tayna, I do. I really do. I do! He stood up. He had no idea how to find her but that was okay. He was going to have a happy ever after, no matter what.
“Just walk.” He said to himself. “Just walk. You’ll find her. All you have to do is trust, and walk.”
“Serra! Serra!” Called Tegan sing-song like, bouncing into another room on this ship with Tayna in tow. “Serra! Are you here? Cap wants us to kit the new fish out. I done clothes, but she needs a weapon. Serra! Where are you?” Tayna looked around. This room was similar to the other room, but darker much darker. As a consequence, the flames from Tegan’s lamp and the one sat in the middle of the room cast playful, lambent light, highlighting gleaming weapons on racks around the room. There were swords and daggers, flint-lock guns of all types, from pistols to rifles with bayonets, nets and maces and even a couple of tridents. Strangely this ever reflecting light gave the room a warm feel. Tegan walked further into the room, so Tayna followed.
“Watch your step,” Tegan warned. “There are always whet stones and cleaning rags and all sorts of other stuff on the floor. Cap’d be real angry with me if I got your neck broke the first day.” Tegan flashed a smile back at Tayna, her voice hushed. Tayna understood why. The atmosphere of the room made you want to whisper, like anything louder or brasher would upset the weapons. So Tayna was very surprised and jumped nearly two foot of f the ground when Tegan screamed out,
“SERRA!” A figure moved in the shadows at the back of the room as a shoe came flying out towards them. Tegan ducked nimbly, as if she had a lot of practice at it. Tayna ducked to one side, the shoe coming scarily close to her head.
“Feh christssake girl, I heard ya the first fifty time! Jeez Louise.” Into the light came a small dwarfish woman, brandishing a broad sword, Tayna noted with alarm.
“‘m sorry Serra.” Tegan said in a small voice. “But you never answered, so I thought-”
“Never be mindin’ what ya though. What is it ya be wantin’?”
“Cap wants you to fit our the new girl with a weapon.”
“Right then. C’m here then gel.” Tegan pulled Tayna forward. Serra frowned, humming and hawing as she looked Tayna up and down. Suddenly she stopped and looked pointedly at Tegan. “What’re ya still standin’ there for gel? Ain’t you got nothing better to be doin’? Go on, git!” Tegan jumped.
“Yes Serra!” she said. “See ya later!” she said to Tayna she she shot out of the room.
“Ha! Silly wee one that.” Serra smiled at Tayna. “Now then, let’s see what ah can do for yuz.” Tayna was startled at the sudden change in Serra, and her face must have displayed as such since Serra commented,
“Oh, don’t be lettin’ me gruff exterior confuse ya gel. I’m always like that to the wee ones. Toughens em up, see?” Serra said.
“I guess.”
“Ah, quit ya worritin’ gel. I’d never hurt a fly-a them. Cap’t knows I’m only messin’. And most been on this ship long enough to know what I’m really like.” Tayna relaxed.
“I see.” she said.
“Now then, you got any h’experience wid any of these pretties?” Tayna looked around, her face creasing into a worried frown.
“Not so much, no.”
“Didn’t think so. Look too h’educa’ed t’me. Run away fr’m home is it? From marriage I’d wager. No clue ‘ow Cap’n picks em up…” Serra rambled, pursuing the weapons racks for something suitable.
“Actually, it’s a bit more complicated than that…” Tayna said, her hand instinctively reaching for the cross again, eyes lost in the middle distance. Serra turned and raised an eye brow at her.
“Always is gel, always is.” She muttered. “Bit of advice gel.” She turned back completely to Tayna and stood with her arms crossed. “On this ‘un, no one’ll ask you for your tale until you’re ready to tell it, so don’t feel pushed. But likewise, don’t push any to tell theirs, lest they want to. You stay long enough, you’ll hear all in time.”
“I see.” Said Tayna, nodding as the dwarf turned back to the racks.
“So what might you be knowin’ how to use?” Serra asked. “If you’d be h’educated, I’m guessing something light, somethin’ genteel… Ah!” She lifted something down from a rack and held it towards Tayna, handle end first. “A sabre.” she told Tayna. “Light, fast, sharp. I’ll wager you’ve done a small of fencing, even though you’re a lass. Rapier’s too bendy, not deadly enough, too easy to avoid. sabre’s similar, but more deadly. If you can fence with a rapier, you can kill with a sabre, I’d reckon. C’mon then, take it.” Gingerly Tayna took the weapon. The blade was well balanced and not too long, and the hilt fit her hand perfectly. “So, how does it feel?” Serra asked, watching her carefully. Tayna held the blade before her face and looked up watching how the flames caressed the steel.
“It feels… good.” she said in a whisper. She suddenly felt something stir within herself. She lowered the blade slowly, twisting through so that the flat was up by the time it was at her side. Still slowly she scoped it around, so that it was edge up by the time it was straight out in front of her, as she brought it up in a slicing motion, and finally she resumed the original stance. “Very good.” She added. When she lowered the sabre, Serra saw Tayna was grinning. She smilled back, slightly sheepishly.
“You a dancer?” Serra asked. “You move with the poise of a fighter, but the grace of a dancer.”
“I’ve danced some, yes. Fought some too. You were right about the fencing.” Tayna said. This is amazing. She though. I feel like a new person. Serra nodded.
“I’ll find you a scabbard for that.” Serra said, and disappeared into the shadows at the back of the room. Tayna looked down the blade again, swished it about a bit, before Serra returned and sorted her scabbard and belt out.
“So, where am I to go next?” Tayna asked.
“I wouldn’t know. I’d go and report to the Capitan, though, if I where you.” Serra told her. Tayna nodded, and slid the Sabre away.
“Thank you for your help Serra.” Tayna said, her voice much stronger than it had been for a long time. She nodded to the dwarf before leaving. Serra watched her go before she heard movement behind her.
“What do you think of her Serra?” Asked Captain Rimstone coming out of the shadows as Tayna left, her arms crossed. Serra didn’t turn. “I know you to be a good judge of people, and if I didn’t trust the opinion of my oldest friend there would be something wrong with me, yes?”
“I think that gel carries a lot of pain, been through a lot.” Said the dwarf, narrowing her eyes in thought. “But ye saw the look in her eye when I gave ‘er the blade. That un be a fighter, deep in her ‘eart. The confidence in her own abili’ies is comin’ out. Ye can see it in the way she moves, stands, ‘ere it in her voice. All it needs is fer someone to bring it out more. Aye, whatever it be that hurts ‘er, she’ll get through it. Prob’ly kill a lotta people in the process mind. What was it you thought about her, when you first saw ‘er then? I’d wager she didn’t look like that afore she came aboard, innocent and naïve. They always do. What d’ya see ‘er for?” Serra turned to face her Capitan. “An’ don’t be sayin ‘cook’, cause I know that ain’t to be anything like the truth.”
“Aye, she be a pretty un, to be sure.” The Captain smiled. “No, she’s not to be cook. Caught that fish arguing with a sheep, no less. But, I’d think she’s not crazy. Saw the same fighter in her that you did. Standin’ there, as mad as hell, screaming at a sheep. Hell hath no fury, as they say.”
“As they say.” Serra agreed.
“No.” The Captain shook her head, as she uncrossed her arms and moved more towards the light. “I’m not sure what I see her for, but I’m thinking she’ll let me know soon enough, in her own way.” She put her hand on Serra’s shoulder. “Sabre. Always a nice choice.” She nodded and patted Serra’s shoulder before leaving herself.
“Yeah, that Tayna’s a fighter alright.” Serra said to herself. “Just like you Lizzy Rimstone.”
As Tayna climbed up on deck, the brightness of the sun hurt her eyes. She blinked a bit, trying to get her eyes to adjust, when she heard,
“Tay! Taya! Over here Tay!” She turned to see Tegan with some other young girls waving frantically at her. “Tay!”
“Alright!” Tayna called back. “Alright I’m coming.” She walked over to where Tegan was stood.
“Tay, these are my mates, I want you to meet them.”
“Tegan, I’m sorry.” Tayna said apologetically. “I don’t have time right now. Serra told me to go and report to Captain Rimstone, and I don’t want to be late.”
“Really? Oh.” Tegan said, her tone disappointed and looking sad. Gah! Tayna thought, feeling awful.
“Look, just make it quick, and then, could you show me to her… office?” Tayna said. Tegan beamed at her.
“‘Kay. Guys, this is Tayna. Tay, this is Ingrid, Isabella, Bridget and Helen.” Ingrid, Isabella, Bridget and Helen waved at Tayna. They all wore baggy trousers and stripped shirts, had a variety of coloured hair and eyes and Helen wore a red kerchief around her neck. “I’ll see you guys in a bit.” Tegan said to them, as she took Tayna’s hand and lead her to a door in the aft-deck. “Cap’t should be right in here.” she told Tayna, knocking. When there was no answer Tegan knocked again.
“Looking for me Tegan?” asked a voice behind them. Both Tegan and Tayna jumped, before turning to see the captain stood behind them, half a smile on her face and a hand on her hip.
“Yes, Cap’n Rimstone ma’am!” Tegan saluted with a smile. “Me ‘n’ Serra got Tayna all kitted out like you asked.”
“Good girl Tegan. Send my thanks to Serra when you see her next, would you?” The Captain smiled. “Now run along. Don’t want your chums to be doin’ all your chores now do you?”
“Yeep! No Cap’n. I’ll get right on it Cap’n. Bye Tay!” Tegan added as she rushed off. Tayna partly raised a hand in fair well, and Captain Rimstone smiled as they watched as the girl sped off.
“Such a sweet one that.” the captain murmured, before turning to Tayna. “Shall we?” she said, opening the door and motioning Tayna through.
“Uh, okay.” Tayna mumbled, a little overwhelmed by everything all of a sudden. The Captain smiled at her as Tayna walked past and into the Rimstone’s ‘office’.
The room was bright and airy, with no need for lamps due to the huge window at the back under which was a window seat. In the middle of the curve of the window was a large conference-like table covered with charts, compasses and other nautical paraphernalia. To one side of the room was a small cot and chest, and on the other was a small table.
“Come, have a seat.” Captain Rimstone invited, moving to the large seats at the end by the window. Tayna did so. The captain perched herself on the end of the table, and crossed her arms.
“You look very good in that, by the way.” She said. “But then, I would expect nothing less from Tegan. She has such an eye for details.” The captain lifted her head and fixed her eye on the side of the ship. “But now then, what, oh what, am I going to do with you?” she sighed. “Ah, it’s a small failing I have, I’ll confess, but I cannot resist a pretty face, cannot resist a woman of spirit and seeming courage, though I might have no space for her, no situation vacant, as thou might say. Is there any skill y’have which might have use aboard this vessel?” The captain looked at Tayna.
“Uh. No.” Tayna said, looking very intently at her hands. The Captain frowned.
“But, ye must have some skill? For sure, you’d not survive well with no money to buy victuals.” Tayna sighed, and leant back to look Captain Rimstone in the eye.
“I was a librarian.” She said. “But I’d have figured you’ve no use for such here.”
“Ah, ye perceived right me pretty fish. But, oh, you’ve begun to talk an all. I’n't that grand?” Tayna looked surprised.
“I have? Oh.” and for some reason, she blushed.
[word count: 3193
total: 23523
comment: Kat is a dwarven pirate. her own fault for putting the thought in my head.]
☮&♥
