I was sat here, about to put my shoes on in order to head over to Dan R’s place for tonight’s radio show. I had one sock on already, and was thinking about the walk over, and how it would involve effort. And then I stopped. If I felt ‘meh’ about it, why was I even bothering? It seems to me that there are few things in my life right now that I do because I actively enjoy them, rather than doing them because that’s just what I do.
I’ll be honest, this thought kinda scares me; I don’t want to be one of those people who just sleep-walks through life, doing things because they think they should. Sleep-walking through an Alternate Lifestyle is still sleep-walking. But it did make me realize I should probably take some time and think about what I do with my life.
So instead of presenting the Monday Night Show, I’m sat here contemplating my life, textually, in front of a world of strangers. I sort of wish it was like that BT ad where everyone connected to the internet can stand in front of the world’s population and get the answers they seek. But no matter, it will have to do.
Except, where do I even start?
By asking for help. If there is one thing that I’ve learnt, is that this feeling I’m experiencing is not unique to me. There are so many self-help books, internet articles and so forth dealing with these issues that it’s easy to get lost in them. So I need to ask the people who know me, and who I know have faced similar issues, how they overcame these feelings and got their life where they wanted it to be.
Reading up. A quick google serch lead me to this very interesting Wikipedia article, based on needs. As I scanned down the explanations I happened upon this:
Self-actualization: This … need pertains to what a person’s full potential is and realizing that potential. … In order to reach a clear understanding of this level of need one must first not only achieve the previous needs, physiological, safety, love, and esteem, but master [them].
In order to get to this state, the article says, you must be able to accept yourself for what you are. Aaand this is the part where I fall down.
So maybe that is where I should start? By fulfilling my need for esteem, particularly self-esteem and ” the need for self-respect, the need for strength, competence, mastery, self-confidence, independence and freedom”?
I shall read up more, and I shall ask for help from my friends, but I think for now my journey for self-acceptance would be best left for another post, another time.
☮&♥
introspection is often not much fun, at least for me. sometimes you realize frightening things about yourself and your lifestyle.
breaking routine is always nice, doing something out of the ordinary. i’m also a very “rational” minded person, so i’d find it helpful to list off the things i’ve done in the last few years that were memorable and briefly describe way. the things that stick in your mind have importance of some sort.