Mal: “Help me look would ya?”
Kaylee *points*: “Is that him?”
Mal: “That’s the buffet table.”
Kaylee: “But how do we know if we don’t question it?”
Mal: Fine. Don’t get sick [Ep 4 – Shindig]
Mal [to Inara]: “Think you can stoop to being on my arm?”
Inara: “Will you wash it first?” [Serenity]
Walsh: “She’s physic? That’s like something from science fiction!”
Zoe: “Honey, we live on a spaceship.” [Ep 14 – Objects in Space]
Kaylee [about her hair]: “Do you think it looks better up?”
Inara: “We can experiment. We might even get wild later and wash your face” [Ep 2 – The Train Job]
Mal [Bows and leaves, then comes back]: “Have you got time to do my hair?”
Inara: “Out!” [Ep 2 – The Train Job]
Mal: Hell, this job I’d pull for free.
Zoe: Can I have your share?
Zoe: If you die, can I have your share?
Mal: Yes [Ep 2 – The Train Job]
Wash: Did he just go crazy and fall asleep
Simon: I told him to sit down [Ep 2 – The Train Job]
Kaylee: There’s no need to be snappy
Jayn: You ain’t about to jump onto a moving train [Ep 2 – The Train Job]
Jayn: Oh, I ain’t going over there, with them bodies. Ain’t no ruttin’ way. Not if Reever’s messed with ’em.
Zoe: Jayn, you’ll scare the women. [ep3]
Alliance fed: You fought with Renoylds in the war?
Zoe: Fought with a lot of people.
Fed: And your husband?
Zoe: Fight with him sometimes too [Ep 3]
Inara [after watching Mal and Jayn fight; To the barman]: Nice place. I’ll tell my friends [Ep 4 – Shindig]
Mal: We don’t kiss the dirt
Zoe: I wasn’t planning on the dirt kissing
Wash: I wouldn’t stand for it anyway, jealous man like me [Ep 4 – Shindig]
Kaylee: Ooh, look at the pretties!
Wash: What am I looking at – The girls or the clothes?
Jayn: There’s girls?
Zoe: The clothes please.
Kaylee: Say, look at the fluffy one.
Zoe: Too much fufura. If I’m gonna wear I dress I’d want one with some slink.
Wash: You want a slinky dress? I can buy you a slinky dress. Captain, can I have money for a slinky dress?
Jayn: I’ll chip in.
Zoe: I can hurt you [Ep 4 – Shindig]
Random Rich guy [To person insulting Kaylee]: Why Banning Miller. What a vision you are in your fine dress. It must have taken a dozen slaves and dozen days to get you into the get-up. Of course, your Daddy tells me all it takes is the space of a school-boy’s wink to get you out of it again. [Ep 4 – Shindig]
Jayn: What we need is a distraction. I say Zoe gets nekkid.
Jayn: I could get nekkid.
All: No! [Ep 4 – Shindig]
[After River’s little outbirst] Jayn: That there. Exactly the kind of diversion we could have used [Ep 4 – Shindig]
Mal: Mercy is the mark of great man. [stab] I guess that makes me a good man. [slash] Well, okay. [Ep 4 – Shindig]
Young simon: Did you get my wave?
Mr. Tam: I got it. Your text shorted. I got the whole thing during a bord meeting.
Young Simon: If I had a dedictated source box it wouldn’t have shorted out. I lost half my essay!
Mr. Tam: Yes and you’d have access to any chen du shu that filtered in from the cortex. I absolutly forbitd it. I will not have it in my house.
Young Simon: Dad!
Young River: Dad!
Mr. Tam: But since your Mother already ordered one, I guess I should give up the fantasy that this is my house. [Ep 5 – Safe]
Mal [after River throws Simons bag away]: So, she’s added cusing and hurling things to her repetoire. She really is a real prodigy.
Simon: It’s just a bad day.
Mal: No, a bad day is when someone’s yellin’ spook the cattle.
Simon: She hasn’t gone anywhere near them.
Mal: Yes, but incase you hadn’t noticed her voice kinda carries. We’re two miles above ground and they can probably hear her down there. Soon as we unload, she can holler until our ears bleed, though I would take it as a kindness if she didn’t.
River: The body can be draied of blood in 8.6 seconds given adiquate vacuming systems. [Ep 5 – Safe]
Mal: Well, don’t you ever stand for that sort of thing. If someone tries to kill you, you kill them right back [Ep 6 – Our Mrs Reynolds]
Kaylee [to Saffron]: Oh sweety, don’t feel bad. He makes everyone cry. He’s like a monster.
Mal: I’m not a Monster! [Ep 6 – Our Mrs Reynolds]
Book: If you take sexual advantage of her, you’ll burn in a very special level of hell. The level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater [Ep 6 – Our Mrs Reynolds]
Mal: I would appriciated it if one person on this boat wouldn’t assume I’m an evil lecherous hump.
Zoe: Nobody’s saying that sir.
Wash: Yeah, we’re pretty much just giving each other significant looks and laughing incessently [Ep 6 – Our Mrs Reynolds]
Wash: Wow, I sure wish I was someone else right now. Someone not married, someone not madly in love with a beautiful woman who can kill me with her pinky. [Ep 6 – Our Mrs Reynolds]
Kaylee: Hey! It was your big make-out session got us into this.
Mal: I was poisoned!
Inara: You were drugged!
Jayn: That’s why I never kiss ’em on the mouth.